Bootcamp For Your Mind

Help me find a serious relationship

Help me find a serious relationship

Dear Amy -

I am ready for a serious relationship, but every guy I meet seems to be very against that whole idea.  I hate to think that male stereotype is true, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s even possible to find someone who wants the same kind of relationship I do.  Is he out there?  What should I do?

Thanks for writing!

The operative words here are “Every guy you meet.” There are a lot more guys in the world then the ones that you meet?  Be careful not to create generalizations about groups of people based on very small numbers.  For example, how many men are you actually meeting?  How many are you actually going on a date with?  1 per week, 2 per week?  And where did you meet them?  Did you find out prior to dating them if they were interested in a serious relationship?  The point is, there are plenty of men out there who want a serious relationship. 

I have two bits of advice for you.

1.  Shop in the right department store.  If you want to meet available men looking for relationships then find out prior to dating whether that is something they are interested in. Online dating has become the “rage” and their profiles usually let you know exactly what they are looking for.  That should at least put you in the right area to find what you are looking for.

2.  Get Some Feedback.  Once you are sure you are in the right department store, then, you’ve got to determine if there is a fit.  If you have been shopping in the right department store and there isn’t a fit, time to look inward?  Are your expectations too high or unrealistic?  Are you sure you even know what you want?  Do you take care of yourself and your health?  Are you confident around men – are you able to show your personality or do you hold back?  Are you sabotaging perfect opportunities and don’t know how or why?  Ask your friends, if you respect them. Ask people who are in relationships for their feedback.  Get a coach – maybe you need some assistance in achieving what you want. 

Don’t give up – it’s out there for you.

Visit Amy Applebaum at www.bootcampforyourmind.com

Can we talk about how much I love the Fat Jewish Guy

If you need a good laugh at the end of the workday (or even smack dab in the middle of it) you have got to check out fatjewishguy.com!   This blog is 100% hilarious and filled with some of the craziest original blog content I’ve seen in a while.  The Fat Jewish Guy’s real name is David Feingold and he works his tail off daily to create a unique comedy site that somehow manages to be politically aware and completely irreverent at the same time.  He’s got everything from cool celebrity interviews to a selection of emails his mother has forwarded to him (something to which we can all relate).  It’s a top comedy blog…plus so much more.

You don’t have to be Jewish to love fatjewishguy.com…but it helps!

Click here to visit www.FatJewishGuy.com.

Click here to visit Amy’site, www.bootcampforyourmind.com

How to get out of a toxic relationship

How to get out of a toxic relationship

We can learn a lot about ourselves, and what stresses us out, by looking at our significant other.  Our partners are often representations of what we do and do not want for ourselves. They are representations of where we are at in our lives.   If we want to be happy and successful, it makes sense that we spend time with people that compliment us.

A toxic relationship can bring on stress that infects every corner of our life.  Yet when it comes to getting out of a bad relationship, way too many of us are all talk, no action!  The first action we must engage in is to take a good hard look at our relationship and decide if it is indeed toxic.  Ask yourself some tough questions about how this person makes you feel.  Are there more bad times than good times?  Can you truly, honestly see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?  If it is workable, then establish some boundaries and make it work better.  But if the relationship is truly bad, then it is time to move on.  Why?  Because, the people we surround ourselves with are extensions of what we’re going to get out of life.    Ending your toxic relationship means being willing to get rid of those things that sabotage your ability to grow and achieve!   And if you’ve started to think, “I CAN’T leave because I suck and this is the only person who’s ever going to love me” then, you know this is a toxic relationship and it’s time to end it once and for all!

To START a new page in your life you’ve got to STOP a few things first:

STOP justifying everything negative your partner does.
STOP thinking you can change their behavior.
STOP thinking things will get better when you get married and have kids.
STOP talking about moving on and get on with it already!

There’s a big, beautiful world out there, filled with people who will respect you and give you the love you deserve.  And the only thing you need to do to get there is STOP pretending like everything’s OK and take action!  Ending your toxic relationship is like removing a HUGE roadblock that stands between you and a better life!

Visit Amy Applebaum at her site http://www.bootcampforyourmind.com

Use body language to get more out of life

Use body language to get more out of life

Outkast said, “I like the way you move”, and you know, it’s true.  People do like the way you move – in fact it has a pronounced effect on how the world sees you.   Experts believe almost 90 percent of what you communicate to the world comes from non-verbal cues, which means when you slouch or fidget you’re giving off a negative impression before you even open your mouth. But on the other hand, body language gives you a tremendous opportunity to project yourself as confident and successful.  If you make up your mind to achieve great things, you can start to exhibit that plan-of-action by better posture and improved eye contact.   Today’s article, Body Language Basics gives you the inside scoop on better body language and how to use it daily.   Remember, you are what you want to achieve.  The body language of an achiever lets the world know you’re a positive person, and serious about success.

Check out the full article here!

Visit Amy at www.bootcampforyourmind.com

Shake off depression and give yourself more energy

Shake off depression and give yourself more energy

Dear Amy -

Lately, I just don’t seem to have enough energy.  And to make matters worse, I feel depressed all the time.  Can you help me?

Sincerely,

Down in Detroit

Dear Down -

Often, depression and a lack of energy go hand in hand.  While sometimes these issues are symptomatic of a serious chemical imbalance (and should therefore be treated by a medical professional), or a particularly stressful life event, they may also be the result of lifestyle and nutrition choices we make that weigh us down like an anchor.

Let’s take a look at a quick, easy plan to get your energy levels up and shake off depression.

Step #1: Change your diet.  Reduce your sugar intake (cut way down on sodas, candy, juices, etc.).  These types of food and drink will give you a quick burst, but in the end will only slow you down.  Reduce unhealthy carbohydrates such as baked goods: cookies, pastries, bread, and pasta.  Again, these are the foods that keep you from achieving peak levels of energy.  Eat 4 or 5 small (approx 300 - 350 calorie) meals per day – big meals will slow you down, make you tired.  You should also add 3 or 4 days of exercise into your weekly schedule.  If you can’t get to the gym, brisk 30 minute walks will do the trick!

Step #2: Raise your endorphin levels.   Keep your mood upbeat by changing the information you take in.   Stop watching depressing documentaries, scary movies and overly dramatic Lifetime fare.  Instead, find ways to start laughing!  Watch uplifting or comedic programming to raise endorphin levels.  And don’t just limit it to your viewing preferences – get out there and engage in uplifting and fun activities!

Step #3: Look at the underlying reasons for your depression and lack of energy.  If you’re experiencing depression and low energy, they may be symptoms of a bigger problem.  If so, it might be time to address these issues.  Ask yourself some important questions:  Are you dissatisfied with your career or your relationships?  Are you feeling unfulfilled?  Do you feel that you haven’t achieved the things you once hoped you would?   If you find that the answer is “yes” to any of these questions, it might be the right time to get some help.  That help can come in the form of a life coach, who will help you get to the root of the problem and work with you to craft a plan moving forward.  You’ll feel better knowing that you addressed the reasons for your depression and low energy levels at the source.

Visit Amy Applebaum at Bootcampforyourmind.com

Become a successful published author with help from Rick Frishman

Become a successful published author with help from Rick Frishman

Life coaching is all about taking your life to the next level, and so I’m always on the lookout for new ways to help you achieve more and get where you want to be in life.  And today, I’ve found something extra special for all you aspiring authors out there who want to become the next great best-selling author.

If you’ve written and published a book, but don’t know where to go next, you’re going to love Rick Frishman!  He’s one of the top book publicists in America, and he’s devoted his life to helping YOU sell more copies of your book.

Through his Author 101 University program he breaks down publishers’ tips and secret techniques you need to know in order to generate real income as an author.

Rick brings along several of his successful author friends to the event, and together they answer the questions you’ve been asking about selling and promoting your book, including:

·         What are publishers like Adams Media, Harper Collins, Wiley, Random House, and Simon & Schuster really looking for?

·         What is the best way to get your manuscript read when you're an unpublished author?

·         What are the biggest mistakes to avoid when writing book proposals?

·         And much more!

Like a great life coach, Rick uses the Author 101 University platform to help you craft a plan for success, then shows you, step-by-step, everything you need to do to accomplish your goals!

The Author 101 University program is really amazing, and it’s coming to Los Angeles on May 29^th, 2008. Click here to find out how you can sign up.

Visit Amy Applebaum at Bootcampforyourmind.com

Ask Amy: How can I make more money

Tell me how I can make more money to have more cash

Amy, I need some cash!  Can you tell me how can I make more money?

Sincerely,

No Dough in Reno

No problem, No Dough.  Here are some sure fire steps to financial well-being that I drill into all my life coaching clients who are looking to have a little more to show for themselves when it comes to their bank balance.  These are same questions that I challenge them to answer in their sessions, but for today, it’s your turn on the hot seat!

Step #1:  First, check in with your thinking.    Do you actually need more money or just want more money?  Will more money actually make you happier?  Are you willing to do what it takes to get more money?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, move on to Step #2

Step #2:  Assess your current budget.  Where are you spending frivolously that you can cut back or cut out: Starbucks, fancy lunches, smoking, drinking?  Any of these sound like familiar vices?

Step #3: Assess your basic expenses.   What are you paying for Insurance, DWP, Cable, Phone, etc? Are there cheaper plans you can get that will save you money?  Can you keep your thermostat a little higher in the summer and lower in the winter?  Remember, 20 bucks here and 50 bucks there add up fast!

Step #4: Assess your living situation.    Can you rent out a room or guest house for some extra income?  Can you downgrade a little if your place too big for you? (Think about it…you’d be surprised how little we need to be happy – most of us only use a few rooms in the house!)

Step #5: Fix your Credit Card situation!   Can you transfer balances to lower interest cards? Can you pay anything off entirely?   Can you consolidate and pay less monthly?  And most important…can you stop using the credit cards altogether?

Step #6: Make More Money!   That’s easy for me to say, right?  If you work for yourself, can you raise your prices?  Can you add services that would appeal to a different or wider audience?  Can you add another business on the side?   Have you exploited the web as a way to bring in more revenue?

What if you don’t work for yourself?  If you have a job and it doesn’t pay enough – what can you do to get a promotion?  Do you need to add some new skill sets into your arsenal?  Or do you need to change careers entirely? Have you made it clear to your boss that a promotion is your end-goal? Have you brainstormed a list of everything you’d like to try?  Are you ready to act on it?

There you have it -- some hard questions to ask yourself about money.  But in the answers, you’ll find a ton of new ways to save and earn more!

Do you have a question for Amy?  Click here to submit yours now!

Would you like to have Amy as your personal life coach?  Visit Bootcampforyourmind.com to find out how.

Got a question you'd like to ask Amy? Submit yours here!

Avoiding the “what-everyone-else-wants-you-to-be” trap

Many times, we find ourselves unhappy or unfulfilled even though “on paper” we’ve accomplished a lot of great things in life.  Why is that?  How can we have all the trappings of success and be so down in the dumps? 

One of the most common reasons is that we spend way too much time doing things that other people want us to achieve, without focusing on what makes us happy.  This is kind of thing that often happens with our parents, but really could be the result of anyone’s influence. 

For example, if your mom and dad were adamant about you going to law school, you probably went and ended up making a nice career for yourself.  But the career path has left you unfulfilled.  You always wanted to teach guitar to inner-city kids, but never acted on it because you didn’t want to upset the folks.

Well, the time has come to start doing things because YOU want to do them.  I work with my coaching clients to help them breakthrough and discover these hidden goals, and take the immediate steps needed to reach them.

You need to listen to your own voice, what your own mind is telling you to do.  This is not always easy.  The influences in your life have left this voice silent for some time.    You need to flex the “what I want” muscle, even if it is stiff from lack of use!

Start making choices based on what YOU want.  Find a coach who will help you overcome external distraction and craft a plan to get you moving. 

There’s no time to waste.  You only have one life to live…you’ve got to make every minute count!

To find out how you can have Amy Applebaum as YOUR coach, visit http://www,bootcampforyourmind.com.

Suprise, sex is good for you!

Like I’ve been saying to people for years, sex is really, really good for you. You can check out this great article about the health benefits of sex and see why for yourself, but being a life coach, of course I want you to do more than just read…I want to see some action!  Stop making excuses about why you and your mate aren’t hitting the sheets more often. If you’re tight on time, then make the time. If you’re scheduled is packed, then clear some room.  If you’re too tired at the end of the day, get more sleep.  The article spells it out for you:  sex is important, and plays a key part of your mental and physical well-being.  Now get to it!

Read 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

Visit Amy at her site, Bootcamp For Your Mind

7 Secrets to Improve Your Ability to Learn

In order to make coaching work for you – and really make some serious change happen in your life – you have to open your mind up new things, to important lessons and information.  And that means being a good student – listening, comprehending and executing the things you learn about that will bring about change. In fact, when you’re my client, if you want to delve into all the amazing ways to achieve an amazing life, I make you roll up your sleeves and WORK!  I create assignments and goals and expect you to execute.  This is your life we’re talking about…if you were ever going to work hard at something this would be it, right?  Bottom line:  by best clients are good students...they use the knowledge they gain from my program.

Here’s a good article to help you learn more effectively.  Whether you’re getting coached, heading off to college, or just want to become a better student of the world, this will help you maximize comprehension, and put that knowledge to good use.

Read 7 Secrets to Improve Your Ability to Learn

Visit me at Bootcamp For Your Mind Today!